Along with reams of short stories, and longer attempts at fiction, I’ve written countless poems over the decades. The bulk were written in my teens and twenties and I literally have folders full of handwritten and typewritten compositions.

I’d been threatening to put a selection into print since the mid-90’s. I remember discussing it with an old girlfriend in ’95 but a number of things always seemed to stop me. Part of that was not really being sure if I wanted to share them with the world, part was never having the time to go through what was amounting to thousands of bits of paper – ranging from typed and formatted finished compositions to hand written stanzas on the back of paper bags, or anything I had at hand when inspiration hit.

A few years ago I finally got round to sorting out a collection and published them under the title “Wild Card Symphonies”. Consisting of three smaller volumes of my work, “Wild Card Symphonies”, “Cry To Me”, and “This Graveyard Heart”, the book totaled just over 120 poems. You can buy a copy (plug plug) through Lulu on one of the links at the bottom of the page if you like what you read and want to have more.

Conditioning

Maybe I don’t want to go

Walking in the garden rain,

Maybe I don’t want to be alone.

Did you ever stop to ask ?

Maybe you’re the same lost child

That is really me.

Try to escape the chains,

Try to break away from what’s expected.

Try to find what remains

Before it’s washed away,

Just as you realise it’s there.

Why you’ve never thought of this,

I can only guess on your conditioning.

How does it feel to see with open eyes ?

Maybe I didn’t want to go.

Maybe I didn’t want to leave you alone.

Maybe you’re the same lost child,

That’s the same as me,

Wanting to cry,

Wanting the warmth of your kisses,

Wanting to die.

I feel so empty.

I feel so alone.

I want to open my eyes,

I want to feel some warmth,

But I can’t break free

Of the conditioning they’ve given me.

I want you back

To make me whole,

And maybe we’ll work,

Or maybe we won’t,

But if we don’t at least try

We’ll never know.

(CONDITIONING By A R J Abranson, 05-09-95/14:17)

My poetry anthology, Wild Card Symphonies, is available to buy now on Lulu in both Softcover and Dust Jacket Hardcover.

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Wild Card Symphonies, Cry To Me & This Graveyard Heart are Copyright ©2015, Angus Abranson. All rights reserved.
Cover design by George C. Cotronis (Ravenkult Studios, www.ravenkult.com) Copyright © 2015 Angus Abranson
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
No reproduction in part or in whole without prior written permission from the author of the copyright owner.