(Poetry) Perfume & Wine

Along with reams of short stories, and longer attempts at fiction, I’ve written countless poems over the decades. The bulk were written in my teens and twenties and I literally have folders full of handwritten and typewritten compositions.

I’d been threatening to put a selection into print since the mid-90’s. I remember discussing it with an old girlfriend in ’95 but a number of things always seemed to stop me. Part of that was not really being sure if I wanted to share them with the world, part was never having the time to go through what was amounting to thousands of bits of paper – ranging from typed and formatted finished compositions to hand written stanzas on the back of paper bags, or anything I had at hand when inspiration hit.

A few years ago I finally got round to sorting out a collection and published them under the title “Wild Card Symphonies”. Consisting of three smaller volumes of my work, “Wild Card Symphonies”, “Cry To Me”, and “This Graveyard Heart”, the book totaled just over 120 poems. You can buy a copy (plug plug) through Lulu on one of the links at the bottom of the page if you like what you read and want to have more.

Perfume & Wine

I can’t believe I’m feeling like this

There’s something left hollow inside

Left empty and open wide

So all can see my pain and loneliness.

I can see the stains

Of my tears on the mirror,

Of my blood mixed in perfume.

Who needs to hear lies.

Today is the last day

That I’ll write these words,

That I’ll cry these tears,

That I’ll ever feel this hurt.

I don’t want to be replayed

The moments of you leaving me

Or the echoes of your final words

Over and over inside.

So long and fuck you for everything

I’ll try not to remember any of it

And start to mend what you unfixed.

And if I start to believe it didn’t matter

The pain seems to fade

Just a little by the hour,

Just a piece every minute,

I start to rebuild myself from the pieces you left.

I can’t believe I ever felt for you

As I stare at the stains of my loneliness,

Of my tears on the mirror,

Of my blood mixed in perfume.

As I feel the pain sink through my skin

Of shattered glass,

Into my shattered mind.

Who needs to hear lies.

I lay here ruined

At the heart of your destruction

Torn and bleeding, soaked in perfume and wine

And I know today is my last day

That I’ll ever cry tears

That I’ll ever feel pain

And I’ll loose myself because of you

Hereafter, and again.

(PERFUME & WINE; By A R J Abranson; 30-05-95/19:05)

My poetry anthology, Wild Card Symphonies, is available to buy now on Lulu in both Softcover and Dust Jacket Hardcover.

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Wild Card Symphonies, Cry To Me & This Graveyard Heart are Copyright ©2015, Angus Abranson. All rights reserved.
Cover design by George C. Cotronis (Ravenkult Studios, www.ravenkult.com) Copyright © 2015 Angus Abranson
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
No reproduction in part or in whole without prior written permission from the author of the copyright owner.

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